Let’s face it—most people aren’t prepared to manage and maintain a relationship that lasts “until death do us apart”. Around 50% of first marriages end in divorce, and the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.
Happiness researchers have consistently found that the “single biggest predictor of human happiness is the quality of a person’s relationships”. The key word here is quality. While living in a happy marriage keeps us happy and healthy, living in a high-conflict or lonely marriage has the opposite effect.
Interestingly, women are now initiating more divorces than men. Gone are the days when individuals had no choice but to endure a distant or high-conflict marriage. People today have more freedom and agency to choose the type of relationship they want to be in today, and it’s wise to take advantage of that freedom! If your marriage is in trouble, do not wait too long to seek professional Marriage Counseling Therapy.
What is Marriage Counseling?
Also known as couples therapy, marriage counseling is a type of psychotherapy in which a therapist works with couples. It helps the couple gain insight into their relationship, resolve conflicts, and improve their relationship using different therapeutic interventions.
However, this therapy may vary depending on the theoretical orientation. According to research by the American Association of Marriage and Family, more than 97 percent of couples said that they got the right help they needed from this kind of therapy. Whereas 93% of couples said, the therapy provided them with practical tools for dealing with the conflict.
How does Marriage Counseling Work?
Every marriage goes through its own set of challenges, which requires a lot of patience. Many couples out there try to take guidance from their family or friends on their marital issues, thinking that somebody will be able to fix the conflict between them. But most of the time, it does not work, and this is where marriage counseling can be helpful.
The main aim of marriage counseling is to gain some insight into each other’s lives and learn new ways to interact. All in all, marriage counseling helps couples to bring a meaningful change in their relationship. To understand the concept of marriage counseling in a better way, let us look at the following points.
1. Taking Some Time to Talk with a Trained Professional
Setting aside some time to talk with a marriage counselor is one of the best ways to save your struggling relationship. We live hectic lives, and couples these days often make use of temporary methods (for instance, using smartphones) to avoid challenging situations in their marriage. Some methods may provide immediate relief, but they do not have any lasting solutions. Remember, you cannot always play games on your smartphone to run away from severe problems in your relationship.
Working with a marriage counselor ensures a safe place and a set time to talk about and work through your issues with someone who is trained in providing expert advice. Having a professional to address your problems with will help you reduce tension in the relationship and strongly connect you with your partner.
If you are looking for a marriage counselor in Austin, Texas, set up your appointment with Alex Barnette. She helps couples create changes in their relationship and tackle complex issues.
2. Breaking Myths and Gaining Insight
With the help of marriage counseling, you will get a deep understanding of how a relationship should work. This process also throws some light on common myths that can harm your relationship. One of the biggest myths about a successful marriage is that couples must do everything together. But the fact is that partners should have and respect each other’s individual identity and space. This will not only enable couples to come closer but also build a stronger bond.
Marriage counseling offers a safe place for couples where they can confront their views about what their marriage means to them and what they can do to improve their relationship. Getting feedback Taking advice from a counselor will help you understand the unique dynamics of your relationship and develop new insights.
3. Tackling Past Affairs
Another major part of marriage counseling is to help couples deal with their past affairs. We may not be aware, but most times, our current actions are majorly affected by past relationships with former partners or family members. A marriage therapist makes it easier to have conversations about your past relationships and uses those confessions to address your current problems.
Moreover, showing empathy towards your partner and deeply understanding their past can help couples resolve their ongoing conflicts. Therefore, if you want to fix current problems in your relationship, you must address your past with the help of a counselor and make amends. This can turn out to be really helpful and bring a positive change in your relationship.
4. Learning Skills and Having Honest Communication
Some people keep all their desires to themselves and are not able to express them openly to their partner. By providing a safe space and asking some thoughtful questions, a marriage counselor enables couples to state all their unexpressed needs. This process may lead to arguments, but eventually, it will help partners reveal all those things they have kept inside and create honest communication. A marriage therapist also teaches the couple skills so they can practice having honest communication outside of the therapy session.
5. Developing Solutions to Have a Better Future
Getting marriage therapy is all about helping a couple acquire skills so that they can come up with concrete solutions for every challenge they face. This allows couples to build a strong self and talk about their shared vision for the future.
Always keep in mind that a marriage counselor is there to support you and not to decide which partner is correct or not. Ultimately, it is you who will determine the course of action for your relationship by taking the right steps. A marriage counselor is just there to help you learn how to work together and discover new styles of communication so that you can discuss anything anytime.
If you feel that you are not coping well with your relationship, then marriage counseling can help your relationship get back on track. Contact Alex Barnette Counseling today to develop a deep connection with your partner and better understand one another.
Reasons You Need to Seek Marriage Counseling
If your marriage continues to have problems, then it’s time for you to seek professional help. Marriage counseling can be very effective, especially when you can get help sooner than later. If you are facing relationship issues, immediately look for a marriage counselor who can help you to tackle every problem with ease.
Here are a few reasons why you need to seek marriage counseling:
1. You and your Partner are Not Talking
– Many relationships face challenges when it comes to communication. Once you stop communicating, it gets hard to go back in the right direction. Consulting with a marriage therapist can really help you to break the barrier in communication and learn new ways to have effective communication with your partner.
2. You have Started Keeping Secrets
– Everyone has a right to privacy, but if you are keeping secrets in a relationship, that means something is not right. You should instantly seek advice from a marriage therapist if you think you and your partner are not able to share openly.
3. You are Facing Sexual Issues
– Sex is something that can bring a couple together, or it may cause anger, anxiety, hurt, and embarrassment. It’s not uncommon for couples to tiptoe around the topic of sex without ever directly addressing the elephant in the room. A counselor can help resolve sexual issues between a couple.
4. Unfaithfulness and Infidelity in your Relationship
– Disloyalty in a marriage can be one of the most damaging and hurtful things. However, this does not mean that you have to end your relationship. Couple counseling offers a safe and healing space to begin a new journey. It can help you find meaning and practical ways to create a deep bond with each other.
5. You See Your Partner as an Antagonist
– If you think your partner is turning hostile towards you, immediately get help from a counselor. It might be the only chance to save your relationship. Unfortunately, patterns don’t naturally change over time; they tend to become more entrenched.
How to Choose the Best Marital Therapist?
Here are a few things you need to consider when choosing a marriage counselor:
Both you and your partner should feel supported by your therapist.
Make sure to set specific objectives with your therapist early on. Setting particular goals will help you and your partner to learn new skills effectively and implement them instantly.
Your therapist should consider your feelings and perspectives. If your counselor tries to take sides, then that is not appropriate. Neither you nor your partner should feel ganged up on by someone.
If your marriage counselor urges that there is only one way to solve your marital issues, you should consider finding another counselor.
Lastly, it is recommended that you trust your instincts. If you feel that the counseling is not helping your relationship, pay special attention to that and talk to your counselor about it. If you want, you can see someone else.
Do Not Wait to Get Help
If you think you have a troubled marriage, then do not wait and seek help today. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to bring your relationship back to normal. Find a professional couples therapist as you see warning signs appearing.
If you want to seek marriage counseling in Austin, Texas, get in touch with Alex Barnette and begin the journey to a healthier and happier partnership.
