In a long-term relationship, couples are constantly faced with making decisions together. Some of them are big (where to live, when to have kids) and some of them are small (where to eat, what to do on a Saturday). How you make these decisions with your partner can be the difference between feeling more connected...
It may sound presumptuous for me, a therapist, to tell you why what great therapy looks like, but in addition to being a therapist, I also have my own therapist and have had to work through my own personal issues and create strategies for growth. This post is about what I’ve learned from my experience...
Each of these could be broken out into their own post, but I want to hit the high-level concepts that make the first year of marriage work. As with anything I write, my perspective is shaped by my experience with clients, training and my personal experiences. Every relationship is unique, which is why therapy is...
When going through a breakup, there are times you just want to hide. You don’t want to go to the places that remind you of your ex, you don’t want to be around the people that are going to ask you about your ex, and you sure as hell don’t want to risk running into...
At their most basic form, emotions are energy. This energy is there to signal something is up and to motivate us to take action. Centuries ago this action most likely would have been to escape a predator or to catch prey so of course, humans had to be quick to react. Now, however, the opposite...
Every January it’s easy to arbitrarily pick new goals and say we want to move towards them, but are we missing a core level of reflection? By about the week after Christmas, most of us start feeling like the stick figure in this comic. This makes it really tempting to pick nearsighted resolutions based on...
What is attachment theory? Attachment theory is based on the assertion that we are genetically wired to be in a close relationship because attachment increases our chances of survival. In short, we have a human need to bond. This need is even more important than eating. The theory was initially developed by British psychologist John...
In a previous post about balance I outlined how working “full-time” can easily translate to working all of the time. With all of the priorities you juggle each day, it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. Within your relationship, it’s even easier for your sex life to disappear. This is partly because stress and...
I should start by saying that I am a therapist, not a financial advisor. I’ll probably say this many times throughout this post because I want to make sure it’s clear that my intention is never to try to tell you what to do with your money. When I talk to couples about their finances,...
In my last blog post, I answered the question of “Does couples counseling actually work?”. I addressed some of the fears couples come in with, what therapy can offer, and how couples can benefit from going to therapy together. If your question is whether or not you need counseling, that would be the post for...
