We are just days away from Christmas, and this is the first year I’m finally feeling some ease with the holiday after years of intentionally working on how my husband and I celebrate and divide the labor of the holiday. I hope I don’t jinx myself here, but I think we have finally adjusted to...
I should start by saying every couple has factors that make their relationship and situation unique. My intention is not to box you and your partner into a category of couples that might not fit for you. Rather, it’s to give an overview of a very common pattern that I see play out with couples...
As we enter the season of family time and togetherness, many couples are already bracing themselves for that yearly visit to their in-laws. I want to instill some hope in the potential that you and your partner don't have to just endure these visits. With a little more intentionality and effort, I strongly believe that you and your partner might be able to find some calm in the chaos. You might even be able to laugh about it all!
I’ve learned the most from my therapists and supervisors when I’ve caught them being human, and I think all of us deserve a little more leeway than usual during the current craziness. But make no mistake–therapists have a duty to maintain a certain level of professionalism for the space to be therapeutic. At times it...
What I know about working with individuals is how hesitant people are to start couples therapy and how important it is they feel safe with the couples therapist. What I know about working with couples is how unrealistic it is that both partners are going to feel safe all the time…and how some individuals can...
As we all attempt to make sense of COVID-19 and attempt to cope with the uncertainty it brings, I wanted to share some of the free flow thoughts that have been circling in my head the past few days. 1. The future may be unpredictable, but we tend to respond in predictable ways. Yes,...
If you’re a parent, I don’t need to tell you that there are a million little things to do for your kid or kids everyday. Rather than go through each task, chore, etc. I’ve noticed that most couples seem to do a generalized overview of who does what and that becomes the status quo until...
The most common feedback I get from couples is how helpful it is to start thinking in terms of what their RELATIONSHIP needs. Most people tend to think of relationships as a balance between you and me. I’m either selfish or selfless. What Stan Tatkin, founder of PACT, suggests is that the “you or me”...
As someone who’s been a client in both individual and couples therapy and as someone who provides therapy to both couples and individuals, here is something I’ve learned–You are allowed to feel your feelings and express them how you want to. HOWEVER, if you are expressing them in a way that is flooding your partner,...
If you and your partner perpetually fight after social events, this post is for you. A good portion of the couples I work with struggle with balancing time apart and time together when they’re out together. Here are a few of the common complaints I’ve heard, “You convinced me to go and then you just...
