When going through a breakup, there are times you just want to hide. You don’t want to go to the places that remind you of your ex, you don’t want to be around the people that are going to ask you about your ex, and you sure as hell don’t want to risk running into...
At their most basic form, emotions are energy. This energy is there to signal something is up and to motivate us to take action. Centuries ago this action most likely would have been to escape a predator or to catch prey so of course, humans had to be quick to react. Now, however, the opposite...
What is attachment theory? Attachment theory is based on the assertion that we are genetically wired to be in a close relationship because attachment increases our chances of survival. In short, we have a human need to bond. This need is even more important than eating. The theory was initially developed by British psychologist John...
In a previous post about balance I outlined how working “full-time” can easily translate to working all of the time. With all of the priorities you juggle each day, it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. Within your relationship, it’s even easier for your sex life to disappear. This is partly because stress and...
I should start by saying that I am a therapist, not a financial advisor. I’ll probably say this many times throughout this post because I want to make sure it’s clear that my intention is never to try to tell you what to do with your money. When I talk to couples about their finances,...
In my last blog post, I answered the question of “Does couples counseling actually work?”. I addressed some of the fears couples come in with, what therapy can offer, and how couples can benefit from going to therapy together. If your question is whether or not you need counseling, that would be the post for...
Well, this is a pretty loaded question. Couples counseling absolutely can and does work. However, success in therapy might look different than what couples initially expect. Having success in couples therapy doesn’t mean that you and your partner will live happily ever after and never fight again, but it can mean that you are more...
If someone asked me to, I could probably delineate every chore we had in my family growing up and whose responsibility it was. I know my dad scrubbed the bathroom tubs and toilets and my mom vacuumed and dusted. My dad mowed the yard; my mom did the laundry. My dad packed our lunches and...
The truth is we all have a desire for someone else to change and there’s nothing wrong with that. The important thing is that we take a moment to reflect and understand where this desire is coming from to make sure our fingers are pointing in the right direction. What can I learn from the...
In modern relationships, you can’t really win when it comes to ending a relationship. There’s a stigma associated with divorce (“how selfish of you”) and there’s a stigma associated with staying in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy (“you must have low self-worth”). Despite what outside messages you might receive, there does not have...
