Every January it’s easy to arbitrarily pick new goals and say we want to move towards them, but are we missing a core level of reflection? By about the week after Christmas, most of us start feeling like the stick figure in this comic. This makes it really tempting to pick nearsighted resolutions based on...
What is attachment theory? Attachment theory is based on the assertion that we are genetically wired to be in a close relationship because attachment increases our chances of survival. In short, we have a human need to bond. This need is even more important than eating. The theory was initially developed by British psychologist John...
In a previous post about balance I outlined how working “full-time” can easily translate to working all of the time. With all of the priorities you juggle each day, it’s easy for your relationship to take a backseat. Within your relationship, it’s even easier for your sex life to disappear. This is partly because stress and...
I should start by saying that I am a therapist, not a financial advisor. I’ll probably say this many times throughout this post because I want to make sure it’s clear that my intention is never to try to tell you what to do with your money. When I talk to couples about their finances,...
In my last blog post, I answered the question of “Does couples counseling actually work?”. I addressed some of the fears couples come in with, what therapy can offer, and how couples can benefit from going to therapy together. If your question is whether or not you need counseling, that would be the post for...
Well, this is a pretty loaded question. Couples counseling absolutely can and does work. However, success in therapy might look different than what couples initially expect. Having success in couples therapy doesn’t mean that you and your partner will live happily ever after and never fight again, but it can mean that you are more...
If someone asked me to, I could probably delineate every chore we had in my family growing up and whose responsibility it was. I know my dad scrubbed the bathroom tubs and toilets and my mom vacuumed and dusted. My dad mowed the yard; my mom did the laundry. My dad packed our lunches and...
The truth is we all have a desire for someone else to change and there’s nothing wrong with that. The important thing is that we take a moment to reflect and understand where this desire is coming from to make sure our fingers are pointing in the right direction. What can I learn from the...
In modern relationships, you can’t really win when it comes to ending a relationship. There’s a stigma associated with divorce (“how selfish of you”) and there’s a stigma associated with staying in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy (“you must have low self-worth”). Despite what outside messages you might receive, there does not have...
Life is absolutely unfair. Bad things happen to good people, and there are times we can’t seem to catch a break. You have every right to feel however you do about the cards you’ve been dealt. There are times we need to throw ourselves a pity party…party of one. Everyone is deserving of sympathy, but...
