Hopefully you were able to enjoy what you could over the holidays and hopefully you are finding some relief in getting back into the swing of things, but if you are finding that you feel anxious about how you are going to juggle everything this upcoming year–this post is for you. I have been...
In an ideal world, when we feel stressed–we would actively move towards the things that are going to help us de-stress. But sometimes getting going is the hardest part. Sometimes stress creates paralysis, and we find ourselves pendulating back and forth between “can’t stop moving” to “can’t get off the couch”. If you are...
The most wonderful time of the year really isn’t so wonderful when you’re overwhelmed or lonely. At this point, I should know better than to watch any Hallmark movies during this time of the year, but I can’t ever seem to quite let go of the fantasy of the holiday season. Every year it’s...
If you are someone that thrives on setting goals for each year, you might already be in the process of starting to think about next year. It can be really challenging to think about 2024 if you are feeling like all you did was survive 2023. The new year tends to bring hope and the...
I should start by saying every couple has factors that make their relationship and situation unique. My intention is not to box you and your partner into a category of couples that might not fit for you. Rather, it’s to give an overview of a very common pattern that I see play out with couples...
Families are really great at keeping us stuck in one role. No matter how old you get, it's likely your sibling position in your family won't change once you reach adulthood. The good news is that marriage should be a place for you to be your full self.
As we enter the season of family time and togetherness, many couples are already bracing themselves for that yearly visit to their in-laws. I want to instill some hope in the potential that you and your partner don't have to just endure these visits. With a little more intentionality and effort, I strongly believe that you and your partner might be able to find some calm in the chaos. You might even be able to laugh about it all!
I’ve learned the most from my therapists and supervisors when I’ve caught them being human, and I think all of us deserve a little more leeway than usual during the current craziness. But make no mistake–therapists have a duty to maintain a certain level of professionalism for the space to be therapeutic. At times it...
What I know about working with individuals is how hesitant people are to start couples therapy and how important it is they feel safe with the couples therapist. What I know about working with couples is how unrealistic it is that both partners are going to feel safe all the time…and how some individuals can...
The way you approach each other matters! When you’re trying to get your partner’s attention, you want to make sure you’re not immediately sending them into threat-mode. Here are some suggestions for getting your partner’s attention in a loving way: Use nicknames: Stan Tatkin says yelling their name sends us back to childhood and makes...
